A Year Of Change

A New Year always equal a New Me. Last Year I prayed some hard, hard prayers. Prayers that I thought God might answer differently.  Prayers that took me to deeper surrendering for God's will in my life.  I guess the saying,"be careful what you pray for" rings true in my case.  The surrendering is the hard part, the blessings that flow are easy.  The blessings remind me of the awesome power God has in my family and I's life.
What in the world did I pray for?  Through my BSF study in Isaiah last year, God challenged my thinking, thus, challenging what I prayed for. As I write this, I vividly remember surrendering my heart and what I thought were my true talents of mine, over to Him. This meant, in my book, running marathon after marathon like I had always done for the past 12 years.  Little did I know how God would respond. Late last summer, I was diagnosed with a Femoacetublar impingement and labreal tear in my left hip (and now possibly my right).   It is a pain I have battled for years, after the birth of Cade ( I guess my friend Who told me in highschool that I had "birthing hips" was wrong!).  And, a  pain that has left me not only rarely hitting the pavement, but sometimes physically debilitated. So, as I surrendered my plans and ideas to Him, he revealed Himself strong to me.  Even with extreme pain, I have felt God's peace in my life.
So, what does this mean for a year of change?  Well,  as Chad and I sat down to plan our goals and dreams for the year,  We felt a little like this..

But, God reminded me to not get stuck in a plan, but a template. And,let's face it, even my template stinks compared to God's great vision for me.  So, even if we make a million plans for 2012,  as we did in 2011, none of them might come to fruition.   I have learned this past year to hold loosely to the things of this world, because when you do, God gives blessings.  Blessings that, yes, are more rewarding than any marathon because they last longer than just 3.5 hours.  Now, when I see a runner cruising towards me, it makes me a bit nostalgic, even though it has been only 9 months since diagnosis. As the thoughts of what I once held dear comes rushing into mind, it makes me a bit sad. But, then my hips remind my mind of their reality, and my thoughts go straight to  "how the heck do they run that far?". Spoken like a true (converted) non-runner!

As we face many massive decisions, along with many unknowns this year, including the decision of hip surgery, I get a little overwhelmed.  But, I know that God never gives what He knows we can't handle through His strength.  And, all I have to do, is look at my precious boys to know that His promises are always true.